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I sat in the crowded room and looked around me at the excited and inquisitive students that had been chosen for student leadership. Nostalgia and sadness washed over me as I recalled this year and the cool things I have learned through being on Student Leadership with some amazing people. It seemed like just yesterday that I was in their position: sitting close to my best friend on the floor of the Dean of Students’ home, in awe of this cool thing I was about to take part in. I was so excited to be the best RA NTBI had ever seen. I was so ready to change this place with all the love and kindness and grace I would exude as a junior.

I think God was looking forward to it too, but not at all for the same reasons as me. God in his grace has allowed me to be on student leadership this year, and not so that I could change this place. Not so that I could be the coolest RA. And definitely not because I’ve been good at it.

God knew that I needed to learn some things, both about Him and about myself. He knew that I would try, for most of this year, to be a leader in my own strength, and that I needed to see that I would fail. He was going to use giving me a very small position of authority to show me that I’m not very good at leading people, I’m not very good at loving people, and I need Him.

Getting picked to be in student leadership is getting picked to be humbled. It is being chosen to have dean’s meetings you just don’t want to have sometimes, having conversations you would rather not, realizing that being “in charge” isn’t all it is cracked up to be, and beginning the lifelong process of understanding that at no point in this life do we arrive at a place with God where we no longer need His moment-by-moment guidance or where we don’t make mistakes.

So, I’m excited for these upcoming students. I’m excited for the opportunities they will get to build into other students’ lives and the memories they will make. But mostly, I’m excited for them to see that when they feel stupid, God knows what He is teaching them; when they stink at leading, God will still lead them, and is leading those they are failing to lead; when they fall over, He will pick them up and brush them off; and when they feel lost, He is not.